His Strength is My Freedom

I now know what it means to be free.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." ~ 2 Corinthians 3:17

I sat down with my prayer journal in hand---intending to write out all of my frustrations, but what came out were prayers of thanksgiving and an unforgettable lesson.

The Lord pointed out my fears of failure. I was afraid of failing friends and family, but most of all, I was afraid of failing myself.

What if my plans didn't work out? What if I was incapable of accomplishing my dreams? What if circumstances locked me into situations that would hinder me from reaching my goals?

There was a clear pattern. It was all about me.

Suddenly, the Lord began to show me that the specific blessings that He had given me--- a wonderful family, the sweetest of friends, an incredible boyfriend, and the ability to possess the internship of my dreams. All of these things were not accomplished by me.

The internship was the specific example that the Lord used to teach me that I can do nothing in my own strength. I didn't deserve this opportunity, but despite my less-than-perfect grades, despite my imperfect writing and researching skills, the Lord gave it to me. It was in His plans for me.

I sat there for a second, unsure of what He was really trying to teach me. And then it hit. There is absolutely nothing that I can do in my own strength. And for the first time, recognizing my finite limitations, I felt free!

Yes, I know that sounds strange. But recognizing my limitations, I knew that I must place everything in the Lord's hands. My heart had to belong to Him, my dreams had to be of Him, and my life needed to be characterized by an unfailing trust.

A flood of peace poured over me. 

Placing all of my dreams in His hands did not make me sure that they would come true. But I knew that I one things was sure: He has the best plans for me, greater than I could ever imagine. And if those plans required that I experience hardship,  He would use those circumstances to grow me closer to Him!

"For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God." ~Romans 8:20-21

Liberated. Brought into the freedom and glory as a child of God. I finally understood it. And I wasn't afraid of the future anymore, or afraid that I would fail those around me. Because suddenly I realized that the hardest thing that I would have to do in life was to follow the teachings of my God!

No more toiling over the plans that I had for me. No more questioning my personal strength.

No. Now I can truly lean into my Lord, knowing that He knows the plans that He has for me and I don't have to know them now. I simply have to trust that He will reveal them in time.

Freedom comes in giving things over to the Lord, in recognizing our  own weakness, in discovering His strength.