Moments Left Unspoken

I am not the One

to be remembered for all time.

Forgettable, unmentionable, erased from all minds.

My life is but a series

Of moments left unspoken.

Forgotten.

Unmemorable.

But noticed all the time.

By One who sees things all

And wants them for His own

And seeks to teach the world

All the lessons yet unknown.

His praise and commendation do not come until the end

Whence we wait upon His judgment

To determine our own end.

Yet his grace and admonition

Prevail for some and mend

Cost ever more his blood

For which He was sent

But His presence ever wanting

Both before and after time.

Until the break of dawn

On that awaited day

I'll seek His face remembering

That my time is for His sake.

Face to Face and Eye to Eye

Have you ever thought about how very big God is and how very small you are?

As I closed my eyes to go to sleep this image popped into my head:

God is our Father. And we are His children. Rather than viewing this as an abstract metaphor, I began to meditate on this thought quite literally. And suddenly I think I saw how it applied to myself.

I was a little girl, and God was my Father. We were strolling along through life and all of the sudden, He reached for my hand, right at the exact moment that I was reaching for His.

Now, to keep this in perspective, God was ever so much taller than my small, toddler-like frame. I was just old enough to comprehend my need of assistance. Just old enough to understand that I needed His overarching protection.

I was in awe of God's height and His stature was quite daunting. But His height was not the object of my attention. At such a tender age, my thoughts were fixed only on His hand. If only I could grasp it.

You see, the unique thing about this whole scenario was that I was just short enough to where I couldn't quite grasp His huge hand. And He was just tall enough that I knew I would have to strain to hold His in my own.

These images seemed to paint perfectly the image of the way that God the Father trains us up in His ways. He tells us in Colossians 3 to "set our mind on things above". In this picture, the toddler recognized their need to do just that. In a great determination to palpably know the strength and protection of His hand, the toddler's eyes were averted upwards.

But at the same time, this upward glance seems like just enough to keep me walking. To continue the stroll with my Father. The hope of His love is enough to keep me reaching upwards.

But alas, I am still in the toddler stage. For though I have looked upon His hand, I cannot yet grasp it. And besides, the hand is only the first step in the right direction. While my eyes are set upwards, they have not yet reached the "high places". For they have yet to meet His eyes.

Perhaps that is for another day. But for today, I am content to reach for the higher places, and hopeful that one day I shall grasp His hand, and He shall grasp mine. And on that day we will meet face to face and eye to eye.

The Spiritual Anorexic

Sometimes, I feel like a spiritual anorexic---eating of the Lord's fruits only when I absolutely must.

While the food sits before me--- the Lord always lends a listening ear, my Bible at the foot of  my bed, and my prayer journal calling out for me to write in it--- sometimes I just don't partake of it. That is... until I absolutely have to.

This mentality, similar to that of an anorexic, ignores what is most necessary for my nourishment, and looks only to selfish desires. Besides, it's absolutely imperative that I finish my school, talk to every friend, and participate in every last activity that I possibly can, right?

The first thing to go is what? Naturally, eating.... and occasionally sleeping as well.

Why is it that the two things that are most important to human existence are the first things to go? Better yet, why is it that the reason why I'm alive (God) is the first thing to be swiped from my schedule as soon as busyness arrives?

It struck me that spiritual anorexia is, in fact, a rather common malady with serious consequences.

How can one bear true fruit when they aren't eating enough to nourish themselves?

It occurred to me that I didn't want to just be a brain with an undernourished spiritual body! Instead, I want to be a tree. And I didn't just want to be any tree... I want to be like the Giving Tree.

The Giving Tree was raised from seed to maturity by a young boy, who later turned into an old man. Throughout this tree's lifetime, it lent it's branches for the young boy to climb on. It offered it's shade for the young man to sit under. It offered it's trunk for the young man and his special someone to carve their names into. And finally, it gave up it's very branches and it's life for the old man to use as income. It gave of everything that it had so that this young man would be happy.

It was once a strong tree bearing good fruit because it was nourished well, and it was grateful to the young boy for the care he took of the tree when the tree was in its youth. But even when that tree was no longer equipped with physical fruit, it continued to give its first fruits for the boy, until it did not have any more to give.

The Giving Tree was selfless, much like our Savior. And while I can never be the Giving Tree, I can be one who lives and serves as an image bearer of Him!

But I cannot grow into the image of the Giving Tree if I am not growing in knowledge of His Word.

Therefore, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 3:13-14

Merry Christmas...and a 'Mediocre' New Year

Have you ever noticed how jolly people are around Christmas? It seems that everyone has an additional measure of grace, a sort of supernatural happiness, that is not easily defeated or lost ... until the Christmas season is over.

The Christmas holidays are officially ended, and the emotional high of the season is beginning to decline. Of course, we all have the New Year to look forward to, but the general hype of the commercialized Christmas season is coming to a close.

Why is it that the joy is so temporary? Is it merely a false high, perpetuated by glowing lights, merry tunes, and gift-giving? Is it true that people are just left with a house full of ripped wrapping paper and a few new items to prolong the seemingly short hype until next Christmas?

 Christmas is the only day when everyone gets gifts on someone else's birthday. 

Rather than saying, "Happy Birthday, Jesus!" do we really mean happy birthday to ourselves?

Now, I don't have a problem with exchanging gifts and I'm not even arguing that I haven't fallen into this same trap. But it really feels like the euphoric happiness around Christmas has more to do with ourselves, than it has to do with our Lord and Savior.

And in this sense, it feels like we're saying

"Merry Christmas and a Mediocre New Year."


As if happiness and joy are only characteristic of the Christmas season. But if we are truly Christians, living a life characterized by a love of the Lord, then we should know that His blessings don't just last for a season! They last for eternity!

The joy that we experience everyday is tantamount to that which we experience as we give and receive gifts on Christmas. Our unique joy on Christmas, is that we are celebrating the birth of our Savior.

But we aren't just celebrating his birth, we're celebrating His death, and His resurrection, too! His promises of everlasting life, His life that sets a perfect example of servant leadership, and His love which is superior to every gift of this world!

What we celebrate; Jesus' life, death and resurrection, should set an example for how we are to live out our lives in the New Year. Drawn to a higher calling after the Christmas season, than we were in the midst of it!

So today, on the day after Christmas, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a New Year that is filled with the fulfilling and all consuming love of Jesus. Living lives characterized by His grace, His mercy, and His peace!

God Loves the Brokenhearted?

Who would have thought that defining the heart would be so difficult? 

From scientific definitions, to definitions referring to the emotions a heart possesses --- the options are endless. It seems that no dictionary definition can get it quite right.

What is it that makes the heart so complex? So difficult to pin down?

Matters of the heart are numerous, and in fact, I would argue that there are few matters that don't require the involvement of the human heart. 

The duties of the heart, its emotions, its vital importance to everyday human existence goes beyond words. And yet, somehow, the Bible gets it just right.

The Enlightened Eyes of the Heart. In Ephesians, Paul prays that the people of Ephesus would have "enlightened eyes of the heart".  Enlightened to "know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His uncomparably great power for us who believe." (Ephesians 1:17) These verses do not just require us to have alert hearts, with eyes to see what is before us, but it insists that we be submissive to the will of God. For our hearts must first be enlightened before we may see and even begin to understand God in all His glory. 

Setting our Hearts on Things Above. Colossians 3 instructs us to set both our hearts and minds on things above, not on things of this earth. Why? Because Christ is seated in heaven above at the right hand of God. Our desire should be that the meditations of our hearts are on our Lord, rather than consumed by things of this earth. The more we meditate on Christ with our whole hearts, the more we will become like Him, and the more we become obedient to His will.

Hearts that Leap for Joy. Psalms 28:7 notes that, "My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song." The heart is an instrument for a variety of emotions. From sadness and sorrow, to joy and thanksgiving, the heart experiences a wide variety of emotion. But what does it actually mean to have a heart that leaps for joy? Could you imagine seeing a person whose heart is leaping out of their chest with joy for the Lord? That precise emotion was what David experienced in the Psalms! And a healthy enlightened heart that is set on things above does precisely that. 

The Brokenhearted. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) God observes the state of each and every individual person's heart, and it is in those times of suffering that God's presence is most noticeable. The Lord loves a broken and contrite spirit, and He draws near those who come to Him in their time of need. God loves the brokenhearted just as much as He loves those hearts that burst with joy. Regardless, God is near.

Love the Lord with All of Your Heart. The greatest commandment of all is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and all of your mind. God requests that we trust Him with our hearts. That we give our hearts over to Him in full submission to His will. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) The Lord asks for our hearts and requests our devotion to Him, promising that the desires of our hearts will come true if our hearts are truly aligned with His will for us.

This is far from an exhaustive definition of the heart. The Bible talks of a trusting heart, a caring heart, one that consistently seeks the will of God, and a heart that is broken. We cannot be detached from our hearts physically, but it is so easy to become emotionally distant from the state of your heart.

If you haven't already, I would encourage you, whether you possess a joyful heart, or are presently brokenhearted, to ask the Lord to come into your heart. He understands matters of the heart far better than you or I. He is the Great Physician, capable of doctoring any heart if only we would place our own squarely in His hands.

"Bearing-the-Cost...also known as Forgiveness..."

Forgiveness is both the easiest and the most difficult thing a human being is called to do. It requires, empathy, understanding, and a willingness to put past hurt behind you. It insists on moving forward with an ever-present desire to love and serve others.

"My name is Bearing-the-Cost, but some call me Forgiveness."

Forgiveness calls for a love that transcends rationality. As 2 Corinthians would say, it requires a love that is not quick to anger, nor rude, neither self-serving, nor impatient... but rather this sort of love keeps no record of wrongs. And the fact of that matter is, in our world today, love rarely exists without these negative traits present.

Those whom we love the most are often the people who hurts us most frequently. And most of the time, the ways that we are hurt feel unforgettable at the time. To put that hurt behind us is like asking us to do the impossible.

The endless list of wrongs against us sting. The record of wrongs could go on for pages, in some cases, for days, or even years. As those wrongs are continually remembered, they dig within us an empty hole only to be filled with deep-seated resentment and bitterness for those whom we are called to love.

Forgiveness is perhaps the hardest thing a human being is ever called to do.

But forgiveness can also be very simple. Saying those three words [I Forgive You] can be as easy as saying hello. Those three words roll off your tongue as easy as a blue bird sings. But really meaning it, truly forgetting what's behind and persevering forward, is a lot easier said than done.

But what is it about genuine forgiveness that is so difficult? To start, it requires humility, and a recognition of our place in the world.

How prideful it is if we cannot forgive our neighbor for their wrongs against us, when the Lord of heaven and earth forgave us for every transgression we will commit, have committed, and are presently committing. How can we expect perfection from our brother or sister in Christ, when we come nowhere near perfection ourselves?

Christ commands us in 2 Corinthians 2:7-8 "... to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore to reaffirm your love for him."

Why is forgiveness so vital to the Christian walk? I believe that Hannah Hurnard answers it best through an excerpt from her book Hinds Feet on High Places:


"At that moment the sun touched the blood-red petals [of the flower] so that they shone more vividly than ever, and a little whisper rustled from the leaves.


"My name is Bearing-the-Cost, but some call me Forgiveness."


 Then Much-Afraid recalled the words of the Shepherd, "On the way up the precipice you will discover the next letter in the alphabet of Love. Begin to practice it at once."


She gazed at the little flower and said again, "Why call you that?"


Once more, a little whispering laugh passed through the leaves, and she thought she heard the [flower say], 


"I was separated from all my companions, exiled from home, carried here and imprisoned in this rock. It was not my choice, but the work of others who, when they had dropped me here, went away and left me to bear the results of what they had done. I have borne and have not fainted: I have not ceased to love, and Love helped me push through the crack in the rock until I could look right out onto my Love the sun himself. See now! There is nothing whatever between my Love and my heart, nothing around me to distract me from him. He shines upon me and makes me to rejoice and has atoned to me for all that was taken from me and done against me. There is no flower in all the world more blessed and more satisfied than I, for I look up to him as a weaned child, and say, 'Whom have I in heaven but thee, and there is none upon earth that I desire but thee."

Because Christ died for us, we are called, just like the blood-red flower, to be filled with joy by nothing other than our Savior. The desires of our heart should be to diligently serve Him, because He bore the cost, because He exemplifies forgiveness, we as image-bearers are called to do the same!

Completed by Him and obedient to His will for us we will love. We will Bear-the Cost, we will Forgive!

The Last Ditch Effort

"Dear God, Please help me to do well on this exam."

"Dear Lord, I hope that you will heal Sally's grandmother from her sickness."

"Dear God...if there is a god..."

These three scenarios are common occurrences that arise in the prayer life of Christians and non-Christians alike. They are the fleeting quips, uttered as a last ditch effort and as a last resort in that great time of need.

Most often, prayer is the last thing that comes to mind.

The thought: If I can't do it...then maybe God can.

This thought demonstrates an incorrect prioritization of the things in our lives. It says, I am stronger, and I can do it on my own. And if perchance, I simply can't do it on my own, then...and only then, will I go to God.

But why is it that prayer is so frequently the last thing on our to-do list?

It's simple. The thought is wrong.

The new thought: God can do all things.

If God can do all things, He doesn't need my permission to do them. If we all genuinely believed that "every good and perfect gift is from above," our prayer lives would be transformed.

Rather than a last minute quip, thought would go into the prayer that we produce. Beyond that, we would change our habits from "the last ditch effort prayer" to the "prayer of expectancy".

What is this "prayer of expectancy"? And how does it differ from "the last ditch effort prayer"?

Quite honestly, "the last ditch effort prayer" offers little hope. And, while sometimes necessary, does not build a strong foundation for a wholesome prayer life.

On the contrary, thought is given to the "prayer of expectancy". It is a function of a heart that earnestly expects God to answer. Not expecting the Lord to answer in the way that we specifically want, but one that expects an answer. It accompanies a person who genuinely prays expectantly. It offers true hope.

Wouldn't you want to spend more time with God if you truly believed that He loved and cared for you? That He wants to answer your prayers? That He wants you to want Him to know all the intricacies of your life?

So pray expecting God to answer. Pray with a spirit of genuine faithfulness, not as a last ditch effort, but as a matter of first priority. Pray expectantly.