That 'I don't' phrase had stuck with me ever since, causing me to wonder whether marriage was really for me. Besides, everyone had always told me to be careful, to keep my options open, to be sure that I wasn't closing the door on "the real Prince Charming'.
To be honest, I was quite scared of the closing door. And that's not entirely unnatural, since our culture teaches us to prefer a half open door, to a completely closed one. That's why living together before marriage is so easy, and the divorce rate, even in the Christian community is at 50% (and likely rising). Besides if the door is half open, there is always a chance to slip through the small opening while you still have a chance.
It didn't take very long for me to realize that the door half open policy was not the thing for me. Our pastor reminded us that marriage was a covenant, just like the covenant we make to God when we are saved. That covenant is unchanging because the God whom we serve is unchanging. (I am reminded of the verses: "Jesus Christ the same yesterday and today and forever." ~ Hebrews 13:8) Since God is forever, His covenant with us is permanent, making covenantal marriage permanent, too. So, I decided to take the leap of faith.
What I thought was going to be leaping from one mountaintop to another, turned out to be merely a step down the aisle... literally. Contrary to all my biggest fears, getting married has been easily the most freeing experience of my short lifetime.
I don't believe that I ever truly understood the term "servant leadership" until I was married. It was then that I realized that outside of my own Dad and a handful of other males, I had never experienced God-led leadership. It was incredible to witness the outpourings of my husbands innate desire is to care for me, not to rule over me.
And I couldn't help but think that if my husband, who has been given a position of leadership in my life loves and cares for me so much, how much more does my Father in heaven, the ultimate leader in my life, love me? If my husband, born with a sinful nature yet regenerated through Christ, can love me this much, how much more can a perfect Savior love me?
I was in awe. Dumbstruck for a moment as I contemplated such visions of grandeur.
Suddenly, I realized that society's divorce rate and lack of commitment was not the problem, but merely a symptom of a much greater spiritual problem. It is not that I am advocating young marriage, or that I think marriage is for everyone. God clearly calls individuals to singlehood, but for those of us who have chosen marriage, why not proclaim the joys of it?
Society hears the grumblings. "Why doesn't he pick up his dirty clothes?" "Why does he always leave the dirty rag sitting on the counter?" "Why are his shoes always strewn about the house?"
But do they hear the joy? "I thank God that my husband serves me so marvelously." "I am so grateful that my husband loves and respects me." "I am thankful for my husbands servant leadership."
The joys are not questions like most of the complaints. They are reality.
I like to think of marriage as God's way of demonstrating His love in a way that is tangible and real. Making it easy to give a reason for the hope that I have inside of me, and much easier to have faith in things physically unseen.
My professor was right. I take great joy in the open door, and you know what, I am equally, if not more blessed by the myriad of closed ones. I found "the real Prince Charming' long before my husband, and my husband is God's gift of Prince Charming on earth. I said 'I do'. But I'm just as glad I also said, 'I don't'.
